MagneticMediaFed’s Daytime Television Exposé! Part 2 (Part 2): Yackety Yack
It was brought to my attention this week that instead of whining and complaining about how December is so slow and how nothing is on and how I don’t have anything to write about I should finish my (as promised) look at the genre of Daytime Talk. As you may remember, I sat down in November and watched every single daytime talk show that airs on your average weekday in the New York metropolitan area. There’s lots of ‘em. Here now, is the second half of that list, presented in its entirey right after the jump (sorry for the delay)…
Do all bald, white men look like Lex Luthor? No. What about blad, suit-clad, white men? Well, yes, of course. Subquestion: is Lex Luthor an appealing person for the average daytime talk show? AND would you tell Lex Luthor your problems? No… and maybe(?).Too many questions — which is precisely what I thought to myself while watching Dr. Keith Ablow a couple months back. The show, which plays like a faceless Dr. Phil, features Ablow in the standard “Talk-Show Depot” brand living room set, working people through their problems. His doctorate is in psychiatry, but whose isn’t? I’m sure when someone decided Dr. Keith deserved a show there was a reason — perhaps catering to niche in the market — but the only demographic I can imagine him reaching are 18-34 year-olds without discernible personality traits.
This lack of vision goes well beyond the host and kind of seeps into every aspect of the show. Are you trying to make the audience cry a little, or trying to decide if “bald is the new sexy”? (the answers are yes, and YES!) Really, where’s Superman when you really need him?
MMF Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
The View
The first thing that strikes me about The View is that their art-director must have run into one hell of a sale on blue set dressings. It’s like they’re broadcasting from the center of a Windex bottle. What’s up, The View? Are you too good for a fake fireplace, or better yet, a fake view?
As for the show, well, it was what it was. While I may find the idea of watching it day after day akin to an hour-long “Head-On” ad that also kicks you in the balls, some people may like it. I’m certainly not the audience they’re looking for, because — as I’ve mentioned before — I don’t have a vagina. The original concept was to have four women, all with different backgrounds, talk about the news of the day and interview people of interest. That was ten years ago. Now, with the Viera for O’Donnell trade (the worst since the Mets sent Scott Kazmir south) the dynamic has turned into something a bit… louder.
Rosie isn’t as horrible as one would think because when you’re watching the show live the insane things she says are bookended by not-so-insane things. The problem is that Viera was the show’s backbone. She kept things under control and gave the precedings a little levity. With Rosie… not so much (ten minutes into the episode I watched Rosie made a “the vibrator is a back massager” joke — which are my favorite kind of jokes, really).
Generally speaking, all is well and good with the exception of two specific scenarios: 1) Politics. When political issues start circling through the conversation everyone starts yelling and fishing for applause lines. Rosie or Joy will say something that panders to the left. Then Elizabeth Hasselbeck says something that panders to the right. Then Barbara Walters or whoever is filling in for her says something that panders down the middle. Everyone gets their applause lines. Eventually the floor manager tells them to wrap and the “debate” ends. 2) The celebrity interviews are the worst. Imagine four women who won’t shut up asking questions of some sap trying to plug his or her soap and yet never giving the person an opportunity to respond. Its an exercise in patience that I wasn’t willing to participate in for very long.
And one more thing: the audience giveaways are getting out of control. It seemed after every segment they’d give the audience something else. Sure, this is great for those attending the show, but for us, watching from the confines of our own homes, it just comes off as pandering. It’s like they’re hoping that the more they give away the closer their ratings will be to Oprah’s.
MMF Rating: 3 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
Why? Why is this a show? What qualifies Megan Mullally to host a talk show? She’s an actor. When has an actor made a good talk-show host? Never. Or at least, rarely. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Hey, Rick, Ellen acted in TWO sitcoms and yet everyone loves her talk show!” This is correct, but Ellen is originally a stand-up, and the line between stand-up and talk show host is much shorter than the line between actor and talk show host.The fact that there is no real reason why this show is on the air in the first place certainly isn’t a great place to start. Unfortunately for me, it only got worse. The Megan Mullally Show is epicly long. The segments are almost exclusely dedicated to interviews with Hollywood’s C-list. The first of which being someone you’ve probably seen before, but with each subsequent guest being more and more of a mystery. The episode that I tuned in did two segments with someone that, as far as I was concerned, was an extra on Grey’s Anatomy. The show needs more of something. More of anything, but not more “celebrity interviews.” You’ve got an hour, let try some things, no?
The episode was so slow I found myself fast-forwarding through the back half. But even at the third-level of fast-forward on my DVR the show was still slow. It’s like watching a talk show hosted by Sisyphus.
MMF Rating: 1 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
Dr. Phil
Say what you will about Dr. Phil, but you’ve got to pay attention to a man with a ’stache as rich and burly as his. We all know the drill: Dr. Phil uses tough to show people the error of their ways — and if that doesn’t work, then he unleashes “The Wrath!” (which is really just an old-timey expression, like calling a guy “Buster”).
Aestheically, Dr. Phil’s set is fantastic. Lots of dark wood — a real classy joint. Content wise, the show fits snuggly into the “talk about your strange problems” genre of daytime-talk. Going in to the episode I had thought of Dr. Phil as being much more reactionary than he actually is. After watching, however, you realize that what he’s saying is entirely normal and that anyone would say it based on the problems of the unquestionably crazy guests. The problems expressed seem legit, his analysis is decent, but why does all of this have to happen on television? It doesn’t matter how genuine someone may be, once you have your own show highlighting your genuiness it all seems a lot less “worthy.”
Honestly, though, it isn’t a bad show.
MMF Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
Honestly, my notes on Oprah are slim. This is because it was one of the only shows (Ellen included) that I found myself actually watching and getting drawn in. You’ve got to hand it to the lady, she’s a powerful TV presence. There were a couple things I noticed not the least of which was why on earth is Dr. Oz wearing scrubs? Did he just get out of surgery? Does he not own suit? So curious.If there’s anything to complain about its that the audience might be a little too excited to be there. Whenever Oprah does celebrity interviews it seems like the interviewee never has much time to talk as the audience will clap for extended periods of time for anything. The guest says he had fun working with X director. Applause. The guest’s new baby is adorable. Applause. The guest takes a sip of his complementary mug of water. Applause. It’s a bit much, but there really isn’t anything Oprah can do, as she isn’t the type of host who is always talking (like a Rachael Ray). She’s a good interviewer, just maybe not in that forum.
There is, I must say, a bit of Queendom going on in that show. If there’s a complaint to be made it’s that Oprah knows she’s Oprah. She talks to us like she is us, but she isn’t. She’s the most powerful person in television, and she knows it. She has to know it. Luckily, we don’t care.
MMF Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
Ellen
This is hands down the best thing on in daytime. Maybe that’s because its the type of show that is actually trying to do things you’d see on a late-night program. Like comedy. While it isn’t guaranteed to be funny (it never is), you have to love the effort. In the episode I watched, Ellen had the day’s guests projected onto the world’s largest mohawk during the introduction. It’s that kind of creativity that I was dying for at this point in my daytime adventure. Likewise, the show has so many different segments, whether they be interviews, comedy, remote pieces, variety acts, the hour flies by.
If anything, the show is in a weird way the combination of both Jay Leno’s Tonight Show and Letterman’s Late Show. It’s taped in L.A. and the set has a very L.A.-modern feel to it, much like Leno. Also, content wise it knows that its trying to appeal to a broader (daytime) audience. In a weird way, The Tonight Show is almost like a daytime program shoved into an 11:30pm timeslot. Yet, Ellen, like The Late Show, seems endlessly amused by the form itself and perfectly content playing with that form.
There’s also the fact that Ellen DeGeneres couldn’t be a more likable person.
MMF Rating: 5 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
You are NOT the father! A friend of mine told me that if I was going to review Maury, it had to be a paternity test episode. So I found one on the schedule and recorded it. He was definitely right. It’s the Maury signature and one of the crazier things you can see on television before the sun goes down.Unlike Jerry Springer, which at this point is just improv comedy, Maury seems to have some reality and seriousness behind it. Unfortunately no one told this to the audience. What is craziest about the show is that the guests can be going through the most traumatic events in their lives and the audience is simply going crazy while all of this is happening. They cheer, they boo, they don’t care which as long as its one of them.
Here’s what I mean: there are three people on stage. A young man, a young woman and an older man. The young couple have been together for a while and have been raising a child. As it turns out the older man (the uncle of the younger one) had sex with the woman and might *MIGHT* be the father of their baby. He’s devastated about this. He made a mistake, loves the couple, loves his nephew and is ashamed of himself. The young man is a wreck because he finds out that the baby he has been raising might not even be his. He looks incredibly hurt. The family isn’t yelling at each other and pushing each other off the stage, but instead just sitting there crying. It’s kind of touching, really. BUT, the audience is letting them have it. Everyone is the devil. The girls a slut, the uncle is a pervert, the kid is an asshole. It’s like watching Kramer Versus Kramer with the audio from Animal House. It is unquestionably one of the oddest things I’ve ever seen. As it turns out, the older man is NOT the father. The audience boos and cheers simultaneously. Its very odd, and it completely sums up what Maury is all about.
MMF Rating: 4 out of 5 Coffee Mugs
And that, my friends, is the daytime television, talk show landscape. I hope the information will guide you in your future daytime talk show decisions. Yee-haw!
Tags: Daytime Television
