CBS Upfronts: Redemption
About a week ago, I went on a rant about the depressing nature of the CBS network. For a company so comfortable in first place, it seemed to refuse any risk-taking whatsoever. This was, of course, especially true as rumors about the cancellation of How I Met Your Mother began to circulate. Well here we are a short time later, HIMYM is safe and CBS’s fall schedule adds the most ambitious (if smallest number of) new shows of any network.
While I wouldn’t by any means say I’m going to become a regular viewer of CBS programming come the fall (look, I don’t like police procedurals), I’ll certainly be checking out more of their new programming than the other guys. Why? Because they took some risks and that’s about all you can (or should) ask from broadcast television. I have the CBS vitals after this break…
Bill Carter’s book, “Desperate Networks,†which came out last spring, suggests there is no man on the planet who loves giving an upfront presentation like CBS President Les Moonves. More specifically, it seems like Mr. Moonves enjoying throwing numbers in the face of Jeff Zucker and twisting the knife as he illustrates how CBS has obliterated the competition (that is — competition that doesn’t include American Idol).
Still, no amount of fanfare can make up for the fact that CBS has absolutely no buzz. I defy anyone to find a water-cooler in America where CSI is being discussed on a Friday morning (except for, maybe, the water-cooler on the CSI set – and even there you have to suspect Marg Helgenberger is rapping with some grips on the previous night’s Ugly Betty).
It is this view of CBS that makes Wednesday’s presentation at Carnegie Hall in Manhattan all the more significant. The network renewed most of its line-up (as expected), but the new series they decided to sign couldn’t be more un-CBS. Of the handful of dramas that will make the CBS schedule, the narrative topics include: vampires, musicals, (actual) wife-swapping, and children running a town. Bully for you CBS. Bully.
Entertainment President Nina Tassler sums things up:
“We approached our development this year with a specific goal in mind - to be daring and different. The Fall and mid-season series we have selected offer creativity and variety with great potential to excite and surprise television audiences everywhere.”
What can I say, the woman is correct. Now, whether any of these new shows makes it to May 2008 is another issue all together. Of all of the series added to the CBS schedule in 2006, only Shark and Rules of Engagement made the cut. The network is by no means hurting for programming. Last year they picked up five dramas and two comedies. This year only three dramas, one comedy and one “alternative†series were commissioned. It must be good to be the king.
I’m done yammering. Here’s their fall schedule:
(N=New, NT=New Time, all times ET/PT)
| MONDAY 8:00pm How I Met Your Mother 8:30pm The Big Bang Theory (N) 9:00pm Two and a Half Men 9:30pm Rules of Engagement 10:00pm CSI: Miami |
It doesn’t make any sense to me, but somehow, someway, CBS has tricked a large portion of America into watching a two-hour block of comedies when it seems the last thing any TV watcher wants to do is watch a comedy. How I Met Your Mother continues to lead things off, and while it might be considered a weak point in the night ratings wise, it still dwarfs just about everything on NBC Thursdays.The night remains mostly untouched, with the comedy The Big Bang Theory plugged into the timeslot for the now-cancelled The Class. Big Bang’s success seems almost inconsequential at this point as it can be easily replaced with The New Adventures of Old Christine, which the network is holding on to until mid-season.
There’s also CSI: Miami at the end of the night where millions of Americans can watch David Caruso do the exact same thing every week. |
| TUESDAY: 8:00pm NCIS 9:00pm The Unit 10:00pm Cane (N) |
Let’s skip NCIS and The Unit, which do exactly what they are suppose to do: draw in viewers and remain largely forgotten the next morning so that we can instead talk about Cane. Cane is about a powerful family in Miami that produces sugar and rum. Cane is notable because it has a mostly latin cast.Yesterday after ABC cancelled The George Lopez Show, Mr. Lopez criticized the network (along with other networks) for shrinking the presence of minorities on television. At first it was easy to dismiss his comments as simply being bitter that his lousy sitcom got the ax, but then if you started to really look around broadcast television (hell, all television) you realized that he was kind of correct.
Honestly, how many shows on television feature minority cast-members that don’t simply serve a token role? More specifically, how many shows are actually about the lives of minorities? I can think of a few: The Wire, Everybody Hates Chris, and whatever is on before and after Everybody Hates Chris. But that’s about it. Here we are, over twenty years since The Cosby Show dominated the ratings chart and television couldn’t be more white-bread. It’s depressing. Aren’t there other stories that can be told? This is why Cane is significant, even if doesn’t end up being particularly good. In a world where NBC is in trouble of being eclipsed by Univision in ratings, you’d have to be foolish to think you can’t get ratings with an ethnic show — especially a latin show. |
| WEDNESDAY: 8:00pm Kid Nation (N) 9:00pm Criminal Minds 10:00pm CSI: NY |
Again, there really isn’t a need to discuss Criminal Minds or CSI: NY. Both will do well, and one or the other will outperform Lost on most nights. These shows are not the story. The story is Kid Nation, which might be the first reality premise that I heard and actually had the response of, “I’d like to watch that show,” instead of my usual response, “That shows sounds god-awful and borderline immoral.”Kid Nation, which I’ll get to below in more detail, is certain to be the first big reality smash hit since the networks found their go-to franchises. If the show has anything going for it, it’s an original idea. It also is up against near nothing on the other networks (with the exception of American Idol, assuming the show actually has enough episodes to get it past the fall.
This is very smart programming. |
| THURSDAY: 8:00 p.m. Survivor 9:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10:00pm Without A Trace (NT) |
It’s a line-up that has worked for years, and I suspect it will continue to work in the future. What’s great for CBS is that it provides the complete opposite type of programming on Thursdays compared with ABC — or even NBC.In a perfect world it seems like each network would get exactly 1/3rd of the U.S. households on Thursday night. Of course, not only do we not live in a perfect world, but we no longer live in 1971. |
| FRIDAY: 8:00 p.m. Ghost Whisperer 9:00pm Moonlight (N) 10:00pm Numb3rs |
If you’re thirteen in America and home on a Friday night I suspect you’re watching CBS. The network appears to be the only in the broadcast game that understands who is watching television on Friday nights. Because of this, they’ve given the young men and women of the world exactly what they want to watch.They want to look at, or emulate, Jennifer Love Hewitt on Ghost Whisperer. They’ll certainly be attracted to the vampires of Moonlight, and the slightly old and slightly nerdier ones will likely stick around for the slighly nerdy crime show Numb3rs.
The other networks are targeting older women (ABC) or some sort of collection of sophisticates and shut-ins (NBC). CBS gets it. Perhaps that’s what makes the network kind of boring. |
| SATURDAY: 8:00 p.m. Crimetime Saturday 9:00pm Crimetime Saturday 10:00pm 48 HOURS: MYSTERY |
Yeah, not a lot to report here. |
| SUNDAY: 7:00 p.m. 60 Minutes 8:00pm Viva Laughlin (N) 9:00pm Cold Case 10:00pm Shark (NT) |
Sunday is a bit of a mixed bag, and probably the one night of the week CBS might have some trouble. They start with 60 Minutes — coming right out of football — will do well, like it always does. Then comes the crazy new show Viva Laughlin which is something of a musical. Lord knows if people actually watch. I suspect they won’t, though stranger things have happened (actually, they haven’t).Cold Case will do well, because it does well now and kind of suits the needs of those people on Sunday night who absolutely don’t want anything even slightly engaging before they have to go to work on Monday. Shark is in a similar position, though with about 24% more attitude (thanks Mr. Woods). |
The New Shows:
The Big Bang Theory
What they say: A comedy from the Emmy Award nominated Co-Creator and Executive Producer of “Two and a Half Men” Chuck Lorre, about brainy best friends Leonard (Johnny Galecki, “Roseanne”) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons “Judging Amy”), who can tell you anything you want to know about quantum physics, but when it comes to dealing with everyday life here on earth they’re lost in the cosmos. Neither fully understands that scientific principles don’t always apply in matters of the heart - until they meet their sexy new neighbor Penny (Kaley Cuoco, “8 Simple Rules…”), a friendly screenwriter/waitress from the midwest who also happens to be newly single. She quickly makes an impression on the other members of Leonard and Sheldon’s geek squad - Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”), who portrays himself as the Casanova of Cal Tech, and fellow whiz kid Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar, “NCIS”), who is rendered speechless around anyone unprepared to converse about the Theory of Relativity or other scientific jargon. The chemistry between this gaggle of geniuses and a delightful damsel is about to undergo a stimulating series of inter-personal experiments.
What I say: Johnny Galecki is still working? Good for him. I hope things work out. Seeing how CBS refuses to shoot a comedy with three cameras, I have to assume this will take place in front of a live studio audience and will be incredibly cheesy. Maybe only a true nerd can say this, but with the exception of Freaks and Geeks nerddom is always screwed up on television. There’s a way you can make this show really funny and really subtle. This will not be that show.
Odds of survival: 6:1
What I say: I’ve read the above paragraph about ten times today and I still have absolutely no idea what this show is going to be like. I know what it’s about, but the music aspect keeps throwing me off. Is it suppose to be funny? Do people burst into song? Is there dancing? Does the music influence the plot? Is it live? Viva Laughlin sounds like it could literally be ANYTHING. I like that. (perhaps I should try to find Viva Blackpool on-line and do some research).
Odds of survival: 15:1
Cane
What they say: An epic drama about the external rivalries and internal power struggles of a large Cuban-American family running an immensely successful rum and sugar business in South Florida. When the family patriarch, Pancho (Hector Elizondo, “Chicago Hope”), is offered a lucrative but questionable deal by his bitter adversary, the Samuels, to purchase thousands of acres of sugar fields, he’s faced with a tough choice: Should he cash out of the sugar business and focus solely on rum, which would please his impulsive natural son, Frank (Nestor Carbonell, “Lost”), or protect the family legacy that he built from the ground up by not selling, and side with his adopted son, Alex (Smits), who mistrusts the Samuels and still sees value in sugar. Alex and Frank’s approach to business is as different as their approach to life. While Frank might lose focus chasing women, Alex is deeply in love with his beautiful wife, Isabel (Paola Turbay, “Bailando por un Sueo”), who is also Pancho’s daughter. Married when she was just 17 years old, Isabel balances Alex by choosing not to involve herself in the business, focusing instead on their three children, who are determined to forge their own paths outside the family. For the Duques, will family allegiance come first or will their secrets and acrimonious conflicts over love, lust and control of the family fortune be their downfall?
What I say: I’m all about watching a prime-time soap that takes place in a world I am not familiar with. I’m also all about watching a prime-time soap that doesn’t revolve around doctors, lawyers, or cops. Plus, Jimmy Smits was in the Star Wars prequels for some reason. That has no bearing on this show, but something that I like to point out every now and then to remind people of the man’s career.
Odds of survival: 4:1
What I say: Vampires + Friday night + Joel “I invented Ultimate Frisbee” Silver = television magic. I never really watched Buffy, but this sounds like it attract a Buffy audience, and I don’t just say that because both shows have vampires (though that’s certainly a factor). I can’t say that I’ll watch this show, but I can certainly support it.
Odds of survival: 7:1
Kid Nation
What they say: a reality-based series in which 40 kids will have 40 days to build a new world - in a ghost town that died in the 19th Century. These kids, ages 8-15, will spend more than a month without their parents or modern comforts in Bonanza City, N.M., attempting to do what their forefathers could not - build a town that works. They will cook their own meals, clean their own outhouses, haul their own water and even run their own businesses - including the old town saloon (root beer only). They’ll also create a real government - four kid leaders who will guide the group through their adventure, pass laws and set bedtimes. Through it all, they’ll cope with regular childhood emotions and situations: homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule they’ve ever known. At the end of each episode, all 40 kids will gather at an old fashioned Town Hall meeting where they will debate the issues facing Bonanza City. They’ll show wisdom beyond their years and the unflinching candor that only kids can exhibit. There are no eliminations on KID NATION - you only go home if you want to. And in every Town Hall meeting, kids may raise their hands and leave. Will they stick it out? In the end, will these kids prove to adults everywhere (and their own parents!) that they have the vision to build a better world than the pioneers who came before them? And just as importantly, will they come together as a cohesive unit, or will they abandon all responsibility and succumb to the childhood temptations that lead to round-the-clock chaos?
What I say: Honestly, who doesn’t think this sounds like a brilliantly crazy/watchable idea. Taking out the ethically grey notion of possible traumatization of the kids, this is exactly what you want in reality programming. It has the guise of “social experiment” but when you get to brass tacks what you’re really watching is great “real” drama and comedy. Who knows if the show will get really dark and frightening or simply be whimsical and cute (I’m hoping for the former), but it’s certainly compelling and should be a big hit.
Odds of survival: 3:2
What I say: I like this show because it sounds like it should be on FX or HBO, and that’s not something one can say too often about network television. Whether or not they leave this show as raw as it probably should be is a whole other matter. Network television has been great at pushing the envelope when it comes to violence, but with the exception of Friday Night Lights network television has done a horrible job at pushing the envelope with actual human emotion (let alone showing unglamorous intimacy). Remember that scene in The Ice Storm when Sigourney Weaver tries to have sex with that guy in the car? Remember how unbearable that scene is to watch? That’s what I want Swingtown to be. It won’t, but that’s what I want it to be.
Odds of survival: 10:1
Read the full press release at The Futon Critic.
Tags: CBS, The Industry, Upfronts
