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It’s gonna be a busy week for those who enjoy getting all worked up over shows that will likely be on the air for 2 weeks this fall. Yesterday NBC unveiled an impressive (and small) list of their fall hope-to-bes. Today came ABC whose list is extensive, if boring. As a network they’re in the strangest position as they have the top three dramas on television (and when American Idol is not on it translates to the top 3 spots in the ratings) in Lost, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy. Unfortunetly for them, the rest of their lineup is a complete mess– especially on the comedy front. Click below for ABC’s announced series…

Betty the Ugly — Pay attention to the following word this fall: Telenovela. It’s a primetime soap made popular on the Spanish-Language networks and will be popping up all over the fall schedule (especially on the MyNetwork). Well, Betty the Ugly is a direct transplant of the Spanish version Betty La Fe. The premise is that of a woman trying to fit in at a glossy fashion magazine. I guess she isn’t that easy on the eyes or something.

Big Day — A comedy about the hilarity of a wedding day. And guess what?! It’s in “Real time.” Doesn’t anyone remember Watching Ellie?

Brothers and Sisters — Not to be confused with Sons and Daughters* this is a drama about a family and all of their, well, drama. Trust me, it’ll be very dramatic.

Help Me Help You — A sit-com starring Ted Danson (network darling) as a popular self-help guru who leads group therapy, but perhaps HE is the one who needs the help!

Let’s Rob… (tentative title) — The show I’m most looking forward to is this comedy starring Donal Logue (VH-1 talking head supreme) among others as a group of thieves who are trying to rob Mick Jagger’s NYC apartment. The show is also created by Rob Burnett and John Beckerman who created the delightful Ed on NBC. I will watch anything they do. Oh, and Mick Jagger will actually be IN the show.

Men In Trees — Look, I never watched Northern Exposure, not that I wouldn’t want to, all four seasons are in my Netflix queue, but I feel like I understand what the show was about. Saying that, Men In Trees is absolutely the SAME show but with a female lead. Someone tell me why I’m wrong.

The Nine — No, this isn’t golfing drama you’ve been waiting for. Instead, it’s about nine characters and how their lives had changed after all being hostages in a band robbery.

Notes from the Underbelly — A comedy about couples involved with various stages of child-birth, and how it affects how they deal with each other, but, y’know… funny.

Six Degrees — I kind of get the feeling creator J.J. Abrams is just phoning these in. Six people in New York who don’t know each other are all connected. MAGIC! Now, I love Lost, and while I’ve only seen eight episodes of Alias, I’m sure I’d like that too, but the premise and Mr. Abrams aren’t really enough to hook me on this one. But then I found out that Campbell Scott and Hope Davis (who were together in The Secret Lives of Dentists) are in it, and that was enough to sell me.

Day Break — This series is almost too high concept to even contemplate. Basically, a cop is framed for murder and must figure out who did it, the CATCH(!) is that he keeps reliving the same day over and over again. Day Break is slated for midseason and will fill in for Lost during its winter hiatus, so hopefully it’s good.

In Case of Emergency — A midseason comedy with David Arquette about four friends from high school who reunite and discover life didn’t turn out like they had planned. I predict every episode will have a very special message.

Traveler — In this midseason drama two guys go on the run when they become suspects in a terror attack.

There are definitely some shows on here that I will watch, but for the most part I get the sense that what we’re looking at is simply a list of good pitches– not good shows. NBC’s fall schedule is ballsy. It’s ballsy because it has to be. The network is in last place and needs not only a hit, but needs back some of its prestige–prestige lost over the past six years of Fear Factor and shitty Friends rip-offs. Unfortunately, after two days of network announcements it appears that NBC is going to be the exception to the pack. It perfectly illustrates what it is the networds need. ABC has three signature dramas, and now is looking to fill out the rest of the their schedule with programming that might appeal to… well, someone (anyone!). NBC, on the other hand, has a good bench. What it’s missing is a team captain– a show that can be the face of the network (a peacock beak, if you will). NBC’s fall roll-out wasn’t so much an effort to fill in the schedule as it was an audition with America for one or two huge hits.

Sources: Zap2It’s 2006  Network Upfront Coverage | The New York Times

*Sons and Daughters was/is canceled (which seemed inevitable, despite the fact that this is a travesty). ABC still seems to be holding out against new-wave comedies (i.e. single-camera, no laugh-track) for a reason that is completely unclear. While no comedy is really generating that many viewers these days (except Two and a Half Men) at least The Office and Scrubs (among others) were/are generating buzz. More on this later…