MagneticMediaFed

Look, just because he doesn’t wash his hair or wear clean clothes or speak or…

Is it just me, or is the best part of The Hills that silly bumper music they play before the commercial breaks? It sounds like something pulled from an Ed Wood movie. And no matter the gravity of the situation on screen it makes every single character involved look like a cartoon who had just run off a cliff but has yet to notice there is no ground beneath their feet. More after the jump…

This week Lauren and Lo and Audrina and some random chick, Jill who we’ve (read: I’ve) never seen before, went to Vegas to surprise Brody on his birthday. Audrina brought along Bobby/Justin/Justin-Bobby, and he brought along a guitar. Does he play guitar? I really hope he doesn’t, but opted to bring it “just in case.” We may never know.

Brody was awfully surprised by their arrival in spite of the camera crews that were present on both sides of the hotel door. I’ve heard of audiences suspending disbelief while watching fictional television series, but I’ve never heard of characters suspending disbelief while living fictional lives. Pretty impressive stuff, really. Brody was apparently so excited to see everyone, he ever brought out his old power glove.

Lauren and Brody spent much of the episode dancing around one another playing the “I like you/I don’t like you” game, before ultimate locking lips in some swanky Vegas club. The good times were fleeting, however, as by the episode’s end Lauren had picked a fight because Brody had the gall to accurately describe the situation between Bobby/Justin/Justin-Bobby and Lo. That bastard! These crazy kids just can’t make it work.

Speaking of Bobby/Justin/Justin-Bobby, he refused to speak to anyone other than Audrina on the trip, causing Lo and that random girl Jill to throw up the ol’ WTF flag. This, in turn, caused Audrina to get really upset and loop some dialogue they could later use in the scene to express this.

Now, on that other show called The Hills that airs at the exact same time on the exact same channel only stars Heidi, some serious drama was going down at the Bolthouse offices (which if I worked there I would call the Bolthouse House, but that’s neither here nor there). Fed up with Heidi and her “I have an office” shinanagins, Elodie puts in her notice and quits. What’s interesting is that it appears her “notice” was one day. Nice.

Heidi has to set up some sort of Emmy red-carpet (which was a couple weeks ago, right? What’s their production schedule?) but the event landed on her anniversary with Spencer (whose beard has now reached Pecoraroian levels of awfulness in its execution).

Not to get too far off the subject, but as a guy I refuse to acknowledge “anniversaries” for dating. This is because there is rarely an exact date one can use to mark the start of a relationship, and even if there was, it’s completely meaningless. Is a couple less in love the day before they agree to be exclusive? At least with a wedding there’s paperwork. I guess what I’m saying is dating should require more paperwork. Wait… what?

ANYWAY. Heidi asks Elodie to cover for her at the red carpet so she can go out with Spencer. Elodie, being the evil mastermind that she is, agrees knowing full well she isn’t going to show up. Flash forward a few hours and Heidi and Spencer are enjoying dinner at what appears to be the lamest restaurant in LA when Heidi gets a call saying she needs to get to work immediately because no one is there. Advantage: Elodie.

Heidi, wanting to keep her plush office tells Spencer she has to go. She then says, “I love you,” to which he replies, “No you don’t.” Look, Spencer is an ass, but that’s kind of a money thing to say, especially after someone as slothlike as Spencer takes the time out of his busy schedule to watch as someone else (presumably) scatters rose petals across their table, and then she has the balls to just up and leave? C’mon, kids. Where’s the love?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 at 1:38 pm and is filed under MTV, The Hills. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.