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The gang finds god.

I think Homer Simpson said it best this summer as he frantically flipped through the Bible saying, “This book doesn’t have any answers!” Perhaps the Bible should have been written more like the Bonanza City Journal, as that book seems chalk full of suggestions kids are more than willing to go along with. In short, they were told that the kids needed to find god and that perhaps they should hold a service — because in the history of modern civilizations, religion has never complicated things. More after the jump…

The council, in classic lamb-to-the-slaughter fashion basically does exactly what the book says and then tells the town everyone should show up for their interdenominational church service. The town, proving that the people are smarter than their leaders, don’t show up. Alex, the adorable, one-toothed wonder, decides to take this opportunity to take a survey of religions, and unlike our president seems to even have a grasp on the difference between Shia and Sunni Muslims. The results of his survey were obvious: the town boasts a wide cross section of religious beliefs. It’s almost like it was engineered that way!

Morgan, being a champ, decides to rally the religious troops and hold a prayer meeting. Since people like Morgan, and since they don’t like being told what to do many show up and everyone has a good pray.

All of this was done in the most PC way possible, with the only glimmer of actual discussion coming from Sophia who said she felt like she was in the middle of an existential crisis and stopped believing in god. Of course, statements this weighty have no place on television and we were quickly escorted to the week’s Showdown in which the groups had to put together a giant puzzle of a church and then raise it for all to see. So, yeah.
The blue team won the upper-class, followed by red as merchants, yellow as cooks and green as the laborers (natch). Since everyone completed the tasks on time they were given the choice of getting a miniature golf course (!!) or a bunch of religious books. Shockingly, the kids picked the books. I’m sorry, but this one isn’t even close. You’re only here for 40 days. If you need to reach out to God, reach out. Why the hell would you need the official transcripts of all of his greatest hits? It’s not like picking running water over a bowl of candy, or more outhouses over a giant pit filled with vanilla pudding, they opted for a dozen books not featuring Harry Potter over mini-golf. These kids are nuts.

The rest of the episode was dedicated to everyone complaining about the yellow team (and in particular Taylor) not doing any work. This leads to something I find truly frustrating with the show. At the town hall meeting, they’re always asked if the council is doing a good job and week after week the town says “Eh,” and then points to Taylor’s lack of leadership skill or general interested in doing anything but sitting at the saloon bar and throwing back shots of root beer geting sloppy drunk off her power, and yet the powers that be won’t yank her from her role or at the very least allow for democratic elections. If I were Zach, I’d form a faction army and stage a coup, or at the very least begin the impeachment process.

At the town hall meeting Cody decides to go home. He misses his family, and he misses his girlfriend. Cody is nine. My advice for Cody: look pal, family is important, but that girl? She’s gonna break your heart. I’m sorry, but it’s true. You’ve been away for over two weeks! People tend to move on. You’re going to go home and discover she forgot about you. She’ll of found a new guy — maybe an eight year old, someone younger and more adventurous who makes her feel like a kid some more — and they’ll be happy together. You’ll think your life is over and for awhile it will be, but you’ll regroup, and in the end things will work out. You’ll never really get over it, but each day will become easier than the previous, but you just have to remember… she isn’t going to call — not as long as you want her to.

Farewell, Cody. Be strong.

Oh, and Morgan won the gold star. Good for her.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 11th, 2007 at 1:27 pm and is filed under CBS, Kid Nation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.