MagneticMediaFed

OK, this is highly speculative, but Kristin (whoever that is) over at E! Online is reporting/gossiping that Drive has been pulled from FOX’s schedule, despite having two episodes left to air. While this news troubles me, I find it unsurprising as the show’s ratings have been less than stellar. Oh FOX, how you love to destroy the dreams of many.

Despite this troubling news, I’m going to continute to review this show each week based on how I imagine the episodes would have been (in my mind). Not to spoil anything, but you can expect next Monday’s episode to feature Nathan Fillion and a space ship.

Another take over at TV Blend.

Where do you think I could get a good deal on a late-model Taurus?

If you’re in the market for some cliffhangers, Drive is your one stop shop. Four episodes in, this show really knows how to delay gratification until the next week.

Elsewhere, the episode brought us some good news and some bad news. The good news is that my least favorite pairing (the army guy and his girlfriend in the white Corvette(?)) seem to be out of the race, and thus off the show. The bad news is that despite getting a clear sign from God and finding the tossed “Race-Phone,” the two Katrina survivors are now just one. I find this moderately annoying as they made a pretty good, if underdeveloped, pairing, and the wrong one was killed off. “Mrs. Barksdale” should still be in the race. I guess the lord giveth and the lord taketh away.

Also bad news is that the one brother is still saying the word “homes” at the end of most of his sentences. That nonsense needs to come to an end. It’s like his character is racing away from 1993.

As always the good news is Nathan Fillion’s character Tully is still a badass and totally elevates the show from horribly acted Mad Mad Mad Mad World derivation to awesome Mad Mad Mad Mad World derivation where the mads don’t mean “crazy” so much as they mean “Nathan Fillion is amazing and I want him to be my friend.”

Back to the bad news category, Dillon Baker was absent and/or sleeping through most of the episode, which is a shame since I’d probably categorize that car as my second favorite… homes.

AAA can help you on your road-based travels.

Sanjaya started out this season as awful. Then he became funny. Then he embraced his awfulness and started to become kind of likable. Then he became, shockingly, kind of good. Well last night all of that crashed to the ground. Sanjaya is a funny punchline, but if you’re actually watching the show he represents 4 minutes of completely unwatchable madness.

Look, he’s always been a train wreck, and for a while it was mostly whimsical, but this week it was just too much. Sanjaya has got to go.

Does that make me a spoil sport? Does this mean I’ve lost my ironic-detachment? Does this mean American Idol has sneakily lured me in, fed me candy, and then sucker-punched me into near-legitimate-fandom? YES. I am now an American Idol fan. Not in a funny way, or a cool way, but in the same way as the other 30 million other Americans.

Damn you Idol.

Sanjaya, out.

I wonder if this car is death-proof?

After spending most of my waking hours telling everyone I came in contact with that Drive was in fact the lord’s second coming, it probably was cosmic justification that half of last night’s episode left me a little cold. But only half.

The other half was again awesome, helped in large part by my rapidly developing man-crush on Nathan Fillion. He gives off an aura of someone who actually might have been a get-away driver for a group of bank robbers. His characters rarely speak unless they have to, but when the words do come out, they’re always the sharpest of anyone around. It’s like he has a whole team of writers crafting his lines and then the rest of the show written by some fifteen year old who makes sure Winston always ends his sentences with Bro or Homes — y’know something ethnic-y!

Really that’s the problem with Drive at this stage of the game, there are only about three cars worth of characters that I’m interested in following and leaning about, but the time is divided up by at least twice as many. I guess that gives the show something to work on and to hopefully develop, but right now I just want to see Tully driving really fast while making quips.

Oh, I think we can also all agree that at this stage in the game, everyone who shouldn’t know about the race probably does and is actively trying to involve themselves in it. Since Lost has The Others, I’m going to refer to the Race-Alumnati as The They, and The They seem to be everywhere.

Sidebar: was anyone else a little uneasy when in yesterday’s premiere the only two black characters were eliminated from the race and haven’t been seen from since? Even a cross-country illegal road rally should have an accurate cross-section of the American populace, no?

Hey, the show is called Drive, not stand around the guy you just clubbed with a wrench. Am I right, people!

Drive wastes no time in getting to the actual driving. In fact, there was a good amount of driving going on about three seconds after the pilot episode started. A good thing? I thought so. Five minutes in I realized Drive was going to get a glorious review from myself, but that started to make me wonder if my rose-colored driving glasses would actually allow myself to realize if the show just plain sucked. The fact of the matter is I’ve wanted Drive to be awesome for months. The creator Tim Minear, has had a great track-record for creating good, if not great, television. He also has had a great track-record for getting FOX to cancel his series’ weeks after they start to air. Perhaps my early opinion of Drive was less about the desire to pump up what I hoped to be a good show than a desire to see Mr. Minear have a genuine hit under his belt.

But back to the race, after the jump…

(more…)

I am alienesque. How do I keep skating through?

The real item that needs to be addressed is why does a results show — any results show — have to be an hour long? There was a great comment made on Best Week Ever last Friday by Christian Finnegan (I think it was Christian Finnegan) saying that these results shows should be like the lottery and just announced in a 30-second production before the local news starts.

Very true.

Of course, when a series is getting 30 million people to tune in every airing, its understandable they might want to milk it a bit. But do we really need Seacrest out on the street “talkin’ to the folks” or a comedy segment in which the judges berate Tony Bennett (does most of the Idol audience even know who Tony Bennett is?).

Though strangely, I actually don’t mind the expected drawing out of the “You’re safe/you’re not” eliminations.

Can I ask you a question?

Originally this post was going to be kind of crude and focus mainly on how Haley is getting by based on her, *cough* non-vocal assets. Then I read Alan Sepinwall’s Idol wrap-up and realized I missed the highlight of the night: Michael Bublé.

Subbing for a flu-ridden Tony Bennett, Michael Bublé came out as the musical performance and basically stumbled his way through the entire C block, culminating with the following exchange between himself and host/tool Ryan Seacrest:

Bublé: Can I ask you a question before I go?
Seacrest: Um, sure I think we have time.
Bublé: Am I wasting my votes by still voting for Antonella Barba?

Ba-Dum-Bum!

How awesome is that? What’s so perfect about this exchange, aside from the out-of-left-field nature to the whole thing is I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO THE F@&K MICHAEL BUBLE IS or WHY HE WAS ALLOWED TO SING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!

Otherwise Gina is out and Haley stayed. They both cried.

Listen to “You Don’t Know Me” by Michael Bublé (whoever the hell that is)

Wait a minute, is it funny to call a guy with curly hair Curly, or is it only funny to call a bald guy Curly? And while I’m on the subject, why Curly? Why not Buzzy or Shoulder-Lengthy or Bee-Hivey or Kinda-Wavy-but-Short-and-With-Frosted-Tipsy? It’s odd.

Either way Chris Sligh isn’t on the show anymore. Anyone have a problem with that?

Viva Jordin Sparks! (Best. Name. Ever. It’s catchy and suggests that she is made of frayed cabling).

Last night there was a vicious battle on the networks. Years from now competition scholars will look back at the past four-hundred years of human achievement and several key moments in our competitive evolution will stand out: Frazier/Ali, The Miracle on Ice, the 2004 ALCS, and last night’s American Idol/Dancing with the Stars showdown.

Yes, Idol and Stars went head to head like two rabid cougars fighting over an elk carcass. It was bloody, but the gore wasn’t visible on television, instead it could be found in the network board rooms.

First of all, no one is going to say that Dancing with the Stars is even remotely as culturally significant as Idol, though it’s hard to deny it isn’t popular. Viewers are tuning in. Lots of them. What’s curious is Idol seemed to have taken this added excitement as a personal threat (though its numbers haven’t wavered the slightest from its nearby competition), and went on the offense.

American Idol ran one hour and seven minutes last night — seven minutes. That made Idol run right over the beginning of the Dancing With the Stars results show (which was slated to begin at 9:00pm EDT). That takes some onions. That’s like the biggest bully on the playground finding the next biggest kid and kicking the sh!t of him in front of his friends as a warning to anyone who might have had ideas of their own glory.

The story doesn’t end there. When I pulled up Dancing on my DVR a lower-third flashed on the screen. It read: Live results show starts in FOUR minutes. Touché, ABC. Touché.

By the time the titles ran on ABC, the clock read 9:08pm. One full minute after American Idol had ended.

Advantage: ABC.

As for the show itself, which I had never watched before, it might have been the most padded hour of television I’d ever seen, and by the time the first couple was voted off I realized I had absolutely no idea who these people were. Paulina… Alec… which one was the celebrity?

Still, the show has enough eye-candy for me to understand whatever ratings it generates.

Idol was Idol. Go… um… Jordin Sparks(?) — best name ever, btw.

As soon as the final twelve contestants were picked I decided that Stephanie Edwards was going to win this competition. She doesn’t have the unrelenting talent of Melinda, but I’m coming around to Tony Kornheiser’s theory that Ms. Doolittle is the A-Rod of Idol this season as her aww-shucks attitude will start to turn people off as the weeks wear down. That was when the gorgeous and stylish Stephanie was going to sneak in and take command.

But its hard for that to happen when she gets bumped three weeks into the competition.

Now I’m stuck watching this show without someone for which to root. I’d like to take this time to open up the comments to suggestions on a new contestant to support. One caveat: I refuse to root for any of the guys except for Chris Slight.

Completely off the subject, though absolutely necessary to address, is Seacrest’s decision to wear TWO microphones — one on each lapel. Given the fact that putting microphones on lapels is actually a major facet of my day-job, I’m led to think that the reasoning is thus: one is a live mic and one is a backup mic since the production is being broadcast LIVE. Or, both mics are live and they’re mixing them into stereo. Now, the typical process for dressing mics in either fashion involves having both fastened to the same clip on the same lapel. Maybe the pros over at FOX know something I do not, but frankly it just makes Seacrest look more like a child in a harness. If anyone knows more about this, let me know.

Elsewhere, I’m glad that Brad Garrett was able to make an appearance on last night’s show reminding the FOX viewers that prior to last Thursday his top 15 sitcom ‘Til Death was ranked 125th.

And finally, true or false: 75% of the Idol audience still had no idea who Peter Noone or Lulu were after the episode came to a close.

Listen to “I’m Into Something Good” by Herman’s Hermits

Dude, nice beads.

The problems with watching American Idol if your name happens to be Rick Pecoraro are two-fold: 1) You don’t particularly like the show. Sure, it has its moments, but basically its hard to get past the fact that its a show based on the competitive singing of mostly horrible and/or overplayed songs. And 2) you don’t listen to popular radio and so you don’t have much of a stake in what it will be overplaying come the fall.

That being said, it’s hard to deny a cultural force of this magnitude, so I try to follow as closely as I can before the show starts to chafe.

After watching tonight’s results show here are my conclusions:

1. Both Brandon Rogers and Sanjaya Malakar clearly expected to get the boot. Brandon was a very cool and very gracious loser. Sanjaya, on the other hand, almost seemed shattered by the notion of having to continue in this public mockery for yet another week.
2. Stephanie Edwards is incredibly good looking. She also happens to be my pick to win (despite having what most of us would consider an off-week).
3. The longer Melinda Doolittle CRUSHES the competition the higher her odds are of getting the boot. It won’t be anytime soon because, well, she’s too damn good and the guys — good lord the guys — are so incredibly awful, but I could see it happening in one of the final weeks. People like an underdog (or someone who drips personality — Melinda is a great talent but she might not have the whole package, which is how my Stephanie will sneak in and take the crown).
4. I’m putting the odds of each guy being dropped one-by-one at 67%

Read about Simon and Ryan getting all catty via Access Hollywood

I’ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to write about American Idol for the next three months. The current problem, as I see it, is the basic fact that I don’t particularly like the show, and yet it’s such a cultural phenomenon (dominating not just the television industry, but dominating the record charts the following fall) how can I honestly avoid it any longer? Though the other side of the coin could be that I had yet to see anyone on the show who was really really good… until last night.

The very first performer in the girl’s group was Stephanie Edwards. She is going to win American Idol. I know this because Tyler knows this.

Sure, you could argue that I know nothing of the voting process or what it is people look for in their American Idols, or even the fact that I barely watched anyone else on last night’s two-hour marathon of song. You could indeed argue those points. The difference is I think Stephanie and I had a connection via the airwaves. She may not know me per se, but she certainly can feel our mental and emotional connection and said connection will subconsciously cause people all over this country of ours to vote for her and she will win.

Whoooooooooooo!

In the current media climate it is not unlikely for a new show to post its pilot on iTunes (or other on-line distribution center) weeks before its actual premiere date. It can build buzz, get the network some early feedback, and my personal favorite aspect: it untethers the programming from clutches of the network.

Though last night while purchasing the new Justin Timberlake video on iTunes I noticed something I had not seen in the online-sales-game: a new show that has yet to air on the broadcast network offering SIX(!) episodes to download (at $2 a piece).

Such is the case for FOX’s new comedy The Winner (produced by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane). But the fun doesn’t end with iTunes (it never does). The Winner is currently on a cross-platform media blitz. Says StuidoDaily.com…

That means you’ll be able to watch new Fox series The Winner, starring The Daily Show veteran Rob Corddry, on a dizzying array of distribution platforms — Sunday night prime-time broadcasts, $1.99 iTunes downloads, “on-demand” viewing at the Fox MySpace page and local Web sites for O&O stations, DVDs for sale at Circuit City, and even in-flight viewing on Jet Blue planes. What’s more, you won’t have to wait for the series to air in sequence — four episodes are already available at FamilyGuy.com and they’ll go online at fox.com, myspace.com and the local Web sites on Tuesday (February 20). All six episodes in the series will be available as digital downloads from iTunes and other, unnamed “electronic” retailers starting Februry 20, and beginning February 25, a two-episode DVD will be used as a promotional giveaway with certain 20th Century Fox TV DVD purchases at Circuit City.
[READ]

Like I’ve said before, its a great time to be into television if you don’t happen to actually own a television.

Last night I had the rare opportunity of watching all of my Monday night television actually on Monday night. This was great for many reasons, not the least of which being I could finally go to sleep at night without my Sensory Deprivator 5000 covered in stickers reading NO SPOILERS! (because, really, the last thing you want while trying to get a good night sleep is ’spoilers’).

I have the full rundown after the break…

(more…)

Here are the following questions that I thought to myself while watching last night’s airing of The Half Hour News Hour on Fox News:

-Why didn’t they hire comedy writers?

-Who is the target audience for this? And does that audience actually exist?

-Does Fox News still harp about all of that “Fair and Balanced” nonsense, and if so does putting a comedy show on a news channel finally dispel those thoughts that they aren’t, in fact, a right wing mouthpiece?

-Have the creators of this show ever seen The Daily Show?

-Why is it that actually having a real live audience still can’t make it sound like real live people are actually laughing?

I didn’t think FOX could ever produce something as unfunny as Happy Hour. Now I just don’t know what to think. It was so monumentally awful writing anything about it just seems unnecessary. Did anyone else watch? What did you think?