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The Vicky Mendoza Diagonal

I’ve been complaining that the show this season has kind of lost its feel (actually I seem to be complaining about that for every show these days). Well, if there were ever an episode that felt like vintage HIMYM, it would have to have been this one. You got your flashbacks, you got your Barneyisms, you got your light romantic drama between characters, you have your sandwiches — all in all a perfect storm of awesomeness. More after the jump…

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I guess I’d call this an improvement over last week, though the problems are more or less the same. The show is going to have a real problem if it can’t find a way for Ted and Robin to inhabit more of the same storylines. Unlike the previous episode, this week I felt Robin’s story was the stronger of the two — though a lot of that could be from my never ending appreciation of adults saying inappropriate things to children. More after the jump…

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Cooper, Mosby, Kelly

I was out having dinner tonight when I received a series of panicked phone calls from a good friend. The first of which has no baring on this conversation, but for those interested apparently Blade Runner is showing Tuesday night at the Ziegfeld here in Manhattan. The second call, however, told me — rather, screamed at me — that Winnie Cooper was on How I Met Your Mother and that she was still, in fact, hot (she’s also, apparently, a math genius). The last of the calls, which were all made in a period of about 7 minutes, said the following:

Dude! Now f–king Kim Kelly is on How I Met Your Mother! Winnie Cooper and Kim Kelly both on the same episode looking incredibly attractive. This is truly a moment for the ages. I’m only five minutes in but it’s totally blowing my mind. You need to get home as soon as you can and watch this, then I can comment on your blog about it. It’ll be awesome!

Well, sir, the ball is in your court (more after the jump…).

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West Orange?

This isn’t a real HIMYM post. This is a “I was up until five in the morning yesterday working on lord-knows-what and thus never got around to writing-up the episode” post. Here’s the short of it: Ted and Barney pretend to be from out of town to hook up with ladies, but are ultimately thwarted when the realize the two girls that have been showing them around aren’t from New York, like they said, but from New Jersey. Marshall and Lily write letters to one another that are suppose to be opened after the other dies. Marshall pours his heart out (with a hilarious over-the-shoulder angel), Lily tells him to cancel her Vogue subscription. Robin realized the new post-Argentina version of herself wasn’t nearly as interesting as the old Robin. She then kicks out a group of a traveling drum-circlers.

In short, another solid episode. I’m endless amazed at this series ability to deliver the goods while consistently being under the radar.

Dude, don’t leave a bro hanging… even for Mandy Moore.

We don’t usually tune in to three-camera sitcoms for unmitigated truth, and yet last night when I pulled up the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother I was treated to nothing but. There is an emotional honesty to this show that you simply don’t find in many comedies these days. The Office has it, but that’s also what they’re selling. HIMYM is far slyer about it mixing large levels silliness into the mix so that we never forget we’re watching a comedy, not an after-school-special. More after the jump…

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Wait for it…

Most of us HIMYM die-hards had suspected that Ted and Robin were going to have been broken up by the time of the wedding, but the writers did an excellent job of throwing us off their trail. After all, this is a show about how the story is told almost as much as it is a about the story itself. More after the break…

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As the network upfronts are set to get underway, information has started to leak, and minds can be put at ease. Take for example this bit of news: Friday Night Lights is going to get a second season. In an unofficial announcement by NBC, the network has given the go-ahead to the brilliant series as well as early word on four other dramas that will be making the fall schedule (The Bionic Woman, Chuck, Journeyman and Life).

Last month NBC went ahead and ordered six new scripts for Nights, a sign things looked promising. Looks like the writers are now slightly ahead of the game.

Now we’re just holding out hope for Veronica Mars and How I Met Your Mother. Is it possible we score a hat trick?

“Variety” reports more on the NBC pickup.

Honestly, who doesn’t love this show? Oh, that’s right, Les Moonves doesn’t love this show (robot!). Too bad it’s his finger on the button.

Quick sidebar: It seems stupid to root against an entire network. Root against shows, or for shows, or against or for personalities, but a network is just so big and faceless its kind of hard to hold a grudge against it. Well, I actively root against CBS. I root against them because its an entire network based on diluting the television landscape with the most mediocre, safe programming imaginable — and I’m talking about network television which is suppose to have mediocre programming.

Honestly CBS, how many crime shows is too many crime shows? Allow me to list them to better illustrate my point: CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: New York, Cold Case, Without A Trace, NCIS, The Unit, Numb3rs, Criminal Minds, and maybe even Ghost Whisperer, which may or may not involve crime… and ghosts. It’s just so sickeningly boring, and as a television viewer I actually find it kind of insulting that I’m being sold the same program a dozen different ways and expected to thank them for the pleasure. I continue to bitch and moan after the break…

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I gazed upon the glory of The Price Is Right, and I see the face of America — and it is devine!

My favorite new school/old school hybrid comedy returned last night (thank God for sweeps, right?) with yet another dynamite entry in what has shaped up to be a fantastic season.

The big story would probably be the hilarious last three minutes when we get to see Barney on The Price Is Right guessing retail prices with shift-manager precision and winning the showcase showdown. AND YET! I’m going to forgo those compliments to instead talk about how an 8:00 comedy on CBS was able to sneak a “road-head” joke into its first two minutes. Really, “sneak” is the wrong word to use here as the joke was blatant and kind of in your face (pun intended). But funny? Of course!

Look, Sunday night I watched a television show on HBO in which a young man took a dump in a shower, so this is hardly a question of being prudish. When you see a fairly risqué scene on broadcast television, however, it almost feels like you’re 12 again trying to make out nudity on scrambled cable. It’s the idea that someone somewhere was able to get something past the filter. In a way you it gives you hope for humanity.

The other curious subplot involved Lily trying to gain 5 pounds so that she could fit into her wedding dress. To do this she starts binging on junk food and yet doesn’t gain an ounce. Kind of funny though not hilarious. What struck me was what a curious feminist statement it may or may not have been. It simultaneously advocated not being this as a rail, and yet did so using an actress who is as thin as a rail. Kind of odd. The fact that in the end she can only put on the weight when eating with her true love is obviously adorable nonetheless.

May sweeps, the period in which network television tries to pull out all the stops in an attempt to skewer their ratings higher so they can charge more for advertising, started last Thursday, April 26th. Why Thursday? I’m not entirely sure, but would imagine it is due to the desire to keep the four week period clear of Memorial Day weekend, where the only people watching televsion are fans of mid-round NBA playoffs and losers like me. Sweeps concludes on Wednesday, May 23rd.

The good news is that all of your favorite shows (and even more of your least favorite shows) will be brand spankin’ new, complete with didn’t-see-that-coming twists and turns as well as celebrity cameos, shocking allegations, animals, trick photography and CG talking appliances. In other words, all the reasons in the world to avoid enjoying the outdoors for these few weeks when the weather isn’t suppose to be rainy or so hot you’re convinced you just might take home the pot in your Apocalypse is Nigh pool at work.

Here’s what I’m looking forward to watching:

• Seeing whether those crazy S.O.B.s over there at Lost can actually pull off the unimaginable: making some sense of this sometimes maddening season.
• Enjoying Heroes a few more times before it joins Lost in the category of shows that fell victim to second season frustrations.
• Jordin or Melinda?
• There are still more episodes of How I Met Your Mother, right? Seriously, that show has been especially MIA these past few months.
• Tony Soprano gets wacked or joins the witness protection program or retires to Vermont or god-forbid just goes on with his life as we’re left holding the cable bill

What are you anxious for? Or perhaps the better question would be, are you just anxious for the season to be over all ready?

Mark your calendars!

How I Met Your Mother seems to have pulled a Family Matters this season. Somewhere along the way the creators decided their main cast is good, but it’s Barney that puts the asses in the seats. The same thing happened during the first season of Family Matters when the writers picked up on the fact that the audience was responding to Urkel way more than they were responding to anyone else on the series.

Of course, that’s where the similarities end.

Either way Barney has turned into the main character, so it’s no surprise that an episode called “Bachelor Party” is going to be 99% Barney-fueled. Though I found the non-Barney action to be the highlights — especially the two random dudes who filled out the party: the guy who speaks only in clichés was great and should remind everyone of at least 30 different people in their life.

The other side of the episode featured Robin and Lilly in what can only be described as the longest d!ldo joke ever to air on network television (oh, and the length is in reference to the JOKE, not the D!LDO) — What’s in the box!!.

The ending, (further affirmation that Barney is the new lead) seemed slightly out of character (at least in terms of his reasoning), though was undoubtedly sweet.

It’s nice to have the kids back after a lengthy hiatus. The laughs were good in this episode, especially Marshall questioning whether the past tense of “provide” is “provode,” and NPH’s great Letterman impression (complete with shattering glass) during the final scene [Update on 3.21.07, watch an extended version of this scene on MySpace; NSFW].

Though what I found most enjoyable was that a sitcom (where the golden rule is to never change) actually had me believing that Ted would move in with Robin and that Lily and Marshall would live alone (and give Ted’s room to Barney so that he’d be closer to the bar). Of course this was never going to happen. It can’t happen. Like any sitcom, there’s too much of an emotional investment in the apartment. Still, for most of the episode I thought that it certainly could. Thanks to some clever slight of hand, a story about Barney stealing Ted’s furniture eventually morphed into Ted and Robin realizing they’re happier living apart.

Interesting sidebar question: can you think of any sitcoms where the principle location changed during its run? The only one I can think of would be The Mary Tyler Moore Show — she moved apartments a few seasons into the series run.

Watch “Moving Day” via Innertube at CBS.com

Last night I had the rare opportunity of watching all of my Monday night television actually on Monday night. This was great for many reasons, not the least of which being I could finally go to sleep at night without my Sensory Deprivator 5000 covered in stickers reading NO SPOILERS! (because, really, the last thing you want while trying to get a good night sleep is ’spoilers’).

I have the full rundown after the break…

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This past weekend my half-roommate and I were watching some old episodes of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared. Those two shows succeeded for many reasons. Like The Office and Arrested Development a lot of the praise should be placed squarely at the feet of the cast. Judd Apatow may not have ever figured out how to create a television show that wouldn’t get cancelled, but he has developed a keen eye for actors and casting. Along with Seth Rogen, one of his greatest finds was Jason Segel, who played Nick on Freaks and Geeks, Eric on Undeclared and is currently seen as Marshall in the exceptionally charming (and often downright hilarious) How I Met Your Mother.

While watching last night’s HIMYM something struck me about Segel and his presence on the show: it’s solidly underwhelming. This isn’t to say that he isn’t great on it. He plays the character as good as anyone would, but that’s just it: anyone could play that character. Well perhaps not anyone. Tom Sizemore, for example, would be horrible in that role. Marshall needs to only be adorable and lovable. Segel can pull this off in spades, but it hardly utilizes his most significant asset: his bizarre and sometimes freakish intensity.

What’s funny is that his three most significant roles have all been essentially the role of “Boyfriend.” The difference with his Marshall character is he’s madly in love and that love is being reciprocated. In Freaks… Nick loved Lindsay more than Lindsay loved (or even liked) him. In Undeclared Eric loved Lizzie to the point of obsession all while she was in the process of dumping him. Jason Segel needs that edge. He can deliver the creepiest and most hilariously penetrating stare you’ve ever seen. It’s a silent and completely internal performance. Which is all the more fascinating when paired against these over-the-top moments of compulsive energy (like Nick singing “Lady” to Lindsay in his parent’s basement or Eric manically assembling valentines at a copy shop for Lizzie).

How I Met Your Mother has given Segel some room to show Marshall’s crazier, more intense, side (last week’s episode featured a great sequence where he blackmailed a seven-year-old out of his pudding cup). Unfortunately, more often than not he’s being relegated to the silly — not a terrible fate, but in a cast as great as theirs its a shame he can’t let loose more often.

I just got around to watching this week’s How I Met Your Mother. Hilarious. When it was over I was convinced it was the single funniest episode of television I’d seen since the season started, but there’s no need to downplay the numerous other great gems from the season, both here and on The Office. Regardless, great or the greatest, if you didn’t catch this week’s episode, check it out on Innertube. It’s called “Slap Bet,” and is well worth anyone’s 22 minutes.

If you did see it, mosey on over to the Robin Sparkles MySpace page for some added entertainment.

Related: if you had to choose between being slapped in the face ten times in a row by someone, OR getting slapped in the face five times but having the slaps spread out at the slappers discretion from now until eternity, what would you choose?