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With all of these comedies coming out, I kind of don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been complaining for months (years?) that the situation comedy has all but vanished from the nightly lineups, and then what do they do but go and release three of them in a week (I thought My Boys premiered last night, but it turns out that it was actually last week. More on this later).

Big Day is a holdover from the fall, that finally gives Help Me Help You a companion piece during ABC’s nine o’clock hour. The premise is: half-hour sitcom about a couple’s ZANY wedding day meets 24’s real-time storytelling motif, but without the quad-boxes and creepy clock (Big Day’s clock is quite charming in its whiteness and lower-thirdness).

The show itself is really what a situation comedy should be (i.e. comedy derived from situations, not jokes). It isn’t hilarious so much as it is fun, though I will say that I laughed out loud a couple times when Wendy Malick’s character said, “Caesar, is a ridiculous salad!” I don’t care who you are, that’s funny. The show is also a solid improvement over Help Me Help You, which has yet to really impress me outside of its casting Judd Apatow in the role of one of Ted Danson’s psychiatrist friends. ABC has been exclusively known for its dramas for the past three seasons (and its dancing stars)– perhaps this January, once Knights of Prosperity premieres, it might be fully back in the comedy game (though According to Jim doesn’t help).

TBS’s second (or first) new comedy this month is My Boys, a charming tom-boy-meets-boy story set in Chicago. After the jump I’ll tell you more…

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Tonight capped off the first nine-episode arc for Veronica Mars‘ third season. Loved it. It had, more or less, everything you could ask for. You got yer quips. You got yer red herring. You got yer set-up for the next mystery. You got yer action, suspence, and funny t-shirts worn by cast members (”Ask me about my STD”). Really, the only thing I could have asked for would have been a little more punch on the mystery itself — though you do gotta love the groundwork laid during the “prisoner/guard” episode from six or seven weeks ago.

I’m also kind of thrilled Veronica and Logan split. Logan is a great character, but he’s always at his best when he can be reckless. Take, for example, his well timed smashing of a cop-car so that he could be locked up with Mercer. Classic Logan. This move will not only be good for Veronica and Logan (she’s too independent, he’s too bi-polar) but it will be good for us, which in the world of television romance is always the most important thing.
When all is said and done, I’m coming out in favor of these shorter storylines. Twenty-two episodes is a tad long for one mystery. Seven to nine is just about perfect, and I look forward to catching the rest of the season during the new year, even if those episodes are going to be short one Ed Begley Jr.

Remember Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? Remember how just about everyone who watched the show during that first month couldn’t believe what a disaster it had become since the pilot aired? Remember how pretentious, preachy, preposterous, and generally unfunny it was? Well it still is, but I’m also still watching it. After the jump I’ll tell you why…

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I’ve made the biggest little mistake of my life. Last Sunday I patiently waited for HBO On-Demand to upload the latest episode of The Wire (episode 12). It was up, promptly at midnight, and I watched it and loved it. AS ALWAYS. The problem was that I loved it too much. It was too good, and with only one episode left in the season I couldn’t wait. I’ve become spoiled by technology. It’d be like being a kid who could move up the date of his birthday. I needed to see that last episode. I needed to see what happened to these characters. So I went online, found the episode and downloaded it. THIS IS ILLEGAL and maybe I’ll end up in prison by this time tomorrow, but here’s the catch: the file I downloaded was only 58 minutes long. The episode itself is actually an hour and 18 minutes long. So now I’ve watched 2/3rds of the fourth season finale but am nowhere close to having actually seen the conclusion. This is killing me. Honestly, I’m dying. Why the hell couldn’t I just wait a week? I’d be able to watch the show in my living room, on an actual TV, with a crisp picture, in its ENTIRETY.

I hope we’ve all learned a little something from my mistake. Just wait. It’ll still be there, and it’ll still be good.

But I will say this: that 2/3rds is god damn incredible.

TBS is launching two new comedies this week. This makes sense because TBS has rebranded itself as the network for comedy. Interestingly enough, these are the first two original programs the network has developed in many years. Its standard fare is comprised of Everybody Loves Raymond and Sex in the City reruns. You might also have noticed that it is the time of the TV season when most shows go on hiatus for a month or two, making it the perfect opportunity for a smaller show to grab some content-starved viewers.

The first of the new shows, 10 Items or Less, premiered last night with My Boys premiering tonight. We’ll get to My Boys later.

10 Items or Less is a generally unimpressive television comedy, but is worth watching for the following reasons: 1) its a comedy, and perhaps you haven’t noticed, but no one seems to be making comedies anymore. 2) The star of the show is John Lehr, who most people will recognize as “the guy in the box at the top of this article” but who savvy comedy will remember from his work in various Noah Baumbach projects of the 90s. He is funny and fun to watch. 3) It’s almost December. What else were you going to watch? Breaking Bonaduce?

For those who checked out last summer’s Lovespring International on Lifetime, 10 Items or Less will seem awfully familiar. It’s basically the same show, but in a grocery store. You’ve got your collection of lovably wacky employees. You have an enthusiastic manager/main character. You have a basic David versus Goliath plotline, mix it all together under the freedom of a scriptless, improv comedy format and shot with the cheapness of hand-held digital video and BAM you got yourself a stew going on! (Since Curb Your Enthusiasm hit, scriptless comedy shows have become the 99¢ Store of the television landscape. Sure, you can find some gems in there, but everything just looks so damn cheap).
Still, there are laughs, and who doesn’t like to laugh. I’ll be checking it out for the next couple weeks at the very least.

Though I do have one concern, the preview for next week’s episode (I don’t usually watch previews, but the show is new and I wanted to see where it was going) suggests that the main plot focus is EXACTLY like an episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia from this past summer. THAT, is not cool.

I seem to be writing about NBC a lot lately, though the network is in such disastrous shape it begs discussion. Here’s what we all know: NBC is in last-place. Because of this, and because parent company G.E. is responsible to its shareholders for increasing the value of its stock, NBC recently had to fire 750 employees in a massive restructuring move that included moving MSNBC from its current home in New Jersey to Rockefeller Center with the rest of NBC news. With hindsight we’re able to ask the always important question, “Jersey?”

Additionally, NBC has decided to remove all scripted comedies and dramas from the 8 o’clock hour in lieu of cheaper game shows and reality fare. This will affect the bottom line initially, but one has to wonder if Howie Mandel is really the best choice for a lead-in (over and over and over again).

This restructuring is suppose to put more of a focus on NBC’s digital properties, because, if you haven’t heard, this ‘digital’ thing might really take off. The problem is that even if this is true, someone still has to program at least 21 hours worth of prime-time television each week. After the jump, I think I’ve figured out how to do it…

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Sorry for the delay. After the jump get all the info on the past two weeks worth of scores…
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I was never a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. This, however, is due more to my rarely seeing the show than having anything against it personally. It should be noted that Joss Whedon is going to be releasing a comic that will chronical the “Eigth Season.” EW has the story, as well as pics. Consider this a Thanksgiving Day, unedible, gift.

More on Monday. Happy T-Day (as those idiots over at FOX News were saying all morning).

(I’m behind on Fantasy Television Scores. I hope to be caught up by Monday).

I just got around to watching this week’s How I Met Your Mother. Hilarious. When it was over I was convinced it was the single funniest episode of television I’d seen since the season started, but there’s no need to downplay the numerous other great gems from the season, both here and on The Office. Regardless, great or the greatest, if you didn’t catch this week’s episode, check it out on Innertube. It’s called “Slap Bet,” and is well worth anyone’s 22 minutes.

If you did see it, mosey on over to the Robin Sparkles MySpace page for some added entertainment.

Related: if you had to choose between being slapped in the face ten times in a row by someone, OR getting slapped in the face five times but having the slaps spread out at the slappers discretion from now until eternity, what would you choose?

Sometimes you read an article about a new television program and you think to yourself, “That sounds like something I’d like to see.” Other times you read the article and think, “No, it’s not really up my alley.” But every now and then you come across a story detailing a recently shot pilot and all you can say is, “Wha?”

HBO is making David Milch’s follow-up to Deadwood. It’s called John From Cincinnati. It is about, but not limited to: surfing, heroin, aliens. The article itself, which features “Art of War”-like quotes from Milch that are equal parts confusing and awesome. Basically, its one of the strangest stories I’ve read.

READ

Who? The cheerleader. Why? To save the world. Oh, OK… Who again?

Heroes is as good a show as it is a disaster, and after nine episodes I’ve decided that I’m OK with that. The show has strengths. Those strengths should be marketed to the American public to get them interested in tuning in. Unfortunately, the NBC promotions department seems to be run by a pack of super-smart, drug-addled chimps. “Save the Cheerleader Save the World” is Heroes tag line. This is fine. But there gets to be a point where you have to say, “OK, I get it,” and move onto something else– or at the very least pull back a little. In last night’s TERRIFIC episode various characters must have used the phrase at least five different times. This, in addition to the endless barrage of promos and publicity materials beating us to death with the message.

The easiest comparison would be the Lost numbers. Both represent an unanswerable plot force, but with “the numbers” the work is always on the side of the audience. The sometimes excessiveness of “the numbers” was for the most part fan fueled. Sure, they play a critical role in the show, but in terms of marketing, ABC has always left the mystery of “the numbers” to the fans.

As for ‘Saving the Cheerleader,’ I’m all for it. She’s way cute. Just quit beating me to death with it. Not just during the show, but after, and in between acts, and in Chyrons on the lower third of the screen, and on bus benches, and inside the back of my eyelids, and…

On this day in “Television Awkwardness”…

• In 1978, Howard Cosell turned to Keith Jackson during a Monday Night Football match up between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Indianapolis Colts, commented on the Eagles’ running game, then proceeded to lick his ear.
• In 1992 the KXAK-Channel 14 News Team in Akron, Ohio, starred blankly at the camera for the entire 30-minute, six-o’clock newscast after their prompter failed, followed by the complete electrical breakdown on any tool used to get them off the air.
• And in 2006, Michael Richards apologized for being an asshole while appearing, via satellite, on The Late Show with David Letterman.

And that has been “This Day in Television Awkwardness.”

(Seriously though, I only made it about half way through the “apology” before I couldn’t take it anymore and fast-forwarded. GOOSECHILL!)

I’m not saying that I will watch “If I Did It,” the shameless O.J. Simpson interview on FOX, detailing how he would have “theoretically” killed his ex-wife and Ronald Goldman, but if I did, it would probably go down like this:

The day is Monday, November 27th. I awake from my third triptophan induced slumber in as many days. My room is cold. I don’t want to get out of bed, but I must– there’s something I need to do.

I hit the snooze bar again and go back to sleep. The next time I awaken I’m still cold, but no longer tired. I’m hungry. I want… turkey? Again? I pull off the covers, put on a pair of black swishy pants and walk to the bathroom. I flick on the light and look in the mirror. I feel like I look. Hellish. My eyes are blackened. I have dried blood on my lip and a hole in my cheek. That’s the last time I get three root canals without Novocaine over a holiday weekend. But why the black eyes, dried blood and cheek hole? Some things are best left a mystery.

I splash some water on my face and walk into the living room.

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When Jeff Zucker isn’t firing 700 employees, he seems to love squeezing thirty-minute programs into 40 minute blocks. He calls it– get this– “Supersizing!” C’mon, Mr. Zucker. Haven’t you heard that America is horribly overweight? What makes you think a nation that can’t handle a pail of fries could possibly stand FORTY-MINUTES of The Office? And yet here we are yet again, staring at a lineup of three shows where we all know four were suppose to reside.

Honestly, I kind of like the idea. Not so much the name. That is completely asinine, but the concept works for me. If you think about it, in the day of time-shifted programming, why do we have to adhere to the 30-minute-comedy/60-minute-drama rule? If you need extra time to tell the story, take the extra time. If you can make an episode of Grey’s Anatomy in 38 minutes, do it. Now, I understand this will never happen, and that broadcast television is built around a model of maximizing advertising revenue and never would never allow such tinkering, but I’m just saying. In any case, tonight NBC showed 40-minute episodes of My Name Is Earl, The Office, and 30 Rock. I had a good time watching. Read all about it by clicking below…

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I’m not saying last night’s Veronica Mars was the best of the season. Hell, it probably wasn’t even the best of the month. But I think we can all agree that this season, as a whole, has been missing something. After finishing the most recent episode, I think I know what that something is: kick-ass cliffhangers AND personal storylines.

A friend of mine said, rightfully, that Veronica Mars will never be as good as it was in that first season, because the mystery will never be as personal– i.e. figuring out who killed your best friend and figuring out who drugged and raped you at a party. That’s some pretty heady stuff for a show as whimsical as this one. The serial rapist storyline this go-round has so far been pretty ‘meh.’ Sure, Veronica has taken the case because friends of hers were affected, but where was the urgency? In the grand scheme of things, your prof nailing the deans wife ranks somewhere between “who dinged my fender” and “where’s the beef” when compared to a masked rapist running amok through a college campus.

Now there’s urgency. It’s just a damn shame the arc only has a few episodes left before hiatus. Those last five minutes this week were everything Veronica Mars can be and more. Logan’s been on Prozac all season, but seeing him run to the rescue reminded me of how great he can be when he’s not sleep-walking though life. Though even better was the sense of actual danger. Veronica Mars fools you into thinking you’re watching a fun, family-friendly*, romp, but it can pull the rug out better than just about any show on television not involving a smoke-monster.

I can not wait for next week!

*Your family watches shows that make “shocker” references, right?

Fifteen points is all the separates position 1 from position 2, with only four weeks left in the competition. Also interesting: Lost is over for the season, killing off a hefty point-stream for many, many participants. What, oh what, will happen!? Get all the info after the jump…
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